Friday, June 10, 2016

One Month without Papa

It's been one month today since our lives changed forever. I don't really feel like I can speak to the depth of Michael's grieving; I can only say how I've seen him changed. He's a different man. I've walked our kids through losing a grandparent and that has been difficult. I've dealt with my own grief over losing a wonderful father-in-law who I respected and loved very much. He loved us all so well.

Jake loves to listen to Papa's music. He loves singing along with it. He has a nice voice. Maybe he will follow in his Papa's footsteps. :) It's still very hard for Michael to hear it sometimes though.

Ella Kate loves her pictures of Papa. She's like her mama. She thinks about Papa a lot, especially at night.

Tanner asks a lot of questions. He will be quiet and still and you can tell something is on his mind. Usually at night. Most recently he has been asking why Papa had to do that work. (Sam was digging a trench and laying wire when he had the heart attack.) He says many times a day that he misses his Papa.

We spent most of the day today at the lake working on Papa's yard. The Martins came last night and began removing the remains from the house fire. They started early this morning and by the time we got there after lunch, they had taken everything to the proper disposal outlets. Phillip followed us in to smooth everything out. He did a really good job. They've been so good to Sam and Jane.

Tanner got to drive the big machine and it made his day :)

We spent some time cutting grass and weed eating. The kids are still young enough to think it's fun. :)

And after all the hard work we enjoyed ourselves a little at one of our most favorite places. 

Tanner is the tiny speck in the distance swimming. Jake paddled the paddle boat to the other side of the lake and back and he was beat! :) We spent a good while sitting in the shade and swimming, just the 5 of us, more thankful for these moments I believe.

We stopped at the House of Pizza for dinner on the way home, like usual. Every time we came to eat, Papa would meet us there. Sometimes he would have already eaten and he'd just sit and talk. Sometimes he would eat with us. He'd always eat whatever we got, and it was a while before we got it out of him that he really didn't like the house pizza we always ordered. But he ate it happily while he spent time with us.

Time at the lake, his lake, is special to us now. I think we all feel a little closer to him while we're there.