As far as I can recall (which isn't very far these days), I did not share this with anyone prior to my birthday. I felt a
huge small amount of guilt about it.
As the big day approached, I started to get a little sad about "our" birthday.
The choice to share a birthday with Tanner was starting to seem like a bad one.
I mean, moms share every aspect of their lives. Nothing is their own anymore. And that is okay. But your birthday....it is yours. There is just no need to share that....until you decide to birth a baby on that day. Then you relinquish your day. Selfish? Probably. My own fault? Definitely.
I have always shared a birthday with my grandfather. I have not once thought he might be getting gypped on that day. He has never acted like he felt gypped. Did he I wonder?
Anyway, I was feeling a bit sad. The week before, though, I pretty much forgot about it. I was totally busy making party plans for Tanner (seeing as to how I saved them all until the last minute) and I was resigned to the way it was going to be. I almost completely forgot at times that it was also my birthday and always referred to the day as Tanner's birthday. Jake, in his moments of sweetness, would always remind me that it was mine too. :)
Fast forward to Friday, the 13th, the day before the big day and the big party. I was cleaning and preparing like a mad woman. I was surprised at lunchtime with a good friend bringing EGGROLLS!! BIG smiles all around! :) It made me smile just remembering that I ate about 4, 783 of them in the days after Tanner was born! I asked every visitor to bring them. :) I was touched that she did that and thought it would be all there was to my day. In fact, I was kind of irritated that my husband had insisted on taking me out to eat that night for my birthday. I did not have time for that. He was adamant. I gave in because I did think it was nice of him. I thought he was really making an effort to not let my birthday be glazed over this year.
Boy was he making an effort. My husband who has never kept a secret and never pulled off a surprise gave me a surprise "party". He gathered my very best friends for a very special dinner at the restaurant I had mentioned several times. He even made sure I had my favorite pie!
The best part is that I was completely oblivious. I am still kind of shocked about that. I am usually so attentive to things. I notice details - it's just who I am. But this time I didn't and I am soooo glad!
4 of the best girlfriends there are!!