Saturday, April 19, 2008

Can't get much worse

Yes, our night couldn't have been much worse. Michael hours ago declared it the worst experience of his life. I'm sure he'll rethink that eventually but with the memory fresh in our minds, he's sticking to that right now.

Started off well...going to a 30th birthday party for our friend Ryanne.


The trip there was uneventful. Upon arriving, we chit-chatted a bit with all our friends and the kids and us ate a little. Ella Kate was out of sorts over wanting multiple pink cupcakes but I was trying to ignore her or at the least pawn her off on her father.

During her little episode, Jake begins climbing on the back of my chair. It is a highback leather chair (for your mental picture). I had no sooner gotten out of my mouth that he needed to get off the back of the chair (thanks to Brycen's prompting...Mrs. Rhonda, look at Jake!!), than the chair tips backwards and knocks him square in the face. He immediately begins wailing as is his character. The entire room stares us down. I comfort him for the appropriate amount of time and then begin attempting to shush him.

No such luck. He promptly gags and throws up in my hands. Yes, when you become a mother, you learn that the best way to deal with vomit is to catch it in your hands. Why this is a first reaction, I am not sure. I am fairly certain that I have never in my life attempted to "catch" vomit until it came from my offspring. I start frantically calling for any friend nearby to bring me some paper towels so I can salvage my clothing and his. Perhaps we can hide it well and continue with the party. It is not a huge amount of vomit at this point.

I must mention also that in trying to summons a friend to the rescue, Summer Martin conveniently backed in the hallway behind us out of earshot. :) As Summer Laney runs with the napkins, Jake begins vomiting a much larger amount. I pick him up and head to the bathroom which thankfully is right beside us. When in the bathroom, Michael follows us in along with Ella Kate. As soon as we reach the room, Jake begins expelling amounts of vomit that had to have been stored for weeks in his small stomach. UGH! Cantalope is off the menu this summer.

I'll speed this story up and just tell you that in the next 5 minutes the following occured:
  • Jake continues to throw up
  • Ella Kate stands in the corner and pees in her panties
  • Ella Kate then attempts to run across the room and slides slip-n-slide style through the puke
  • she is screaming now
  • Michael is screaming now
  • Jake tries to leave the stall because he is finished puking and immediately falls into the puke
  • Jake is screaming again
  • Ella Kate is still screaming b/c Michael is still screaming
  • Jake almost pees in his pants because he hurt himself when falling
  • Ryanne comes in and is frightened away :)
  • Nancy (Ryanne's mom) brings the random cleaning utensils they can scrounge up
  • a random girl comes in and looks as if she will vomit before she runs away

Interesting enough? We clean up best we can. We remove all the vomit and pee soaked clothing that we can manage to, without carrying out entirely naked children. Jake declares that he is finished throwing up and feels good enough to go back to the party. LOL

Michael is mortified. I tell him that everyone in that room is thinking 2 things right now: 1. I feel so sorry for those people whose child is throwing up in this public place and 2. I am SOOO glad it is not mine! :)

In the end, we run out the door with our half naked children smelling like a very rotten cantalope (Tracy Harrison confirmed this for me!) and hide in our car.

If we can muster the courage to face our friends, we may go to church in the morning. If not, we'll hide out in the house and hope by next week it is a vague memory. I just hate I have no pictures to show for it.


Autumn said...

Oh my... the things that happen... oh my. Great story, though!

CG said...

That was rough. No doubt. But I have to tell you I was laughing while reading:):)
Well at least it is anothe story you can use to torcher them with when they are teenagers!!

Summer Martin said...

I will tell you it sounds bad but most people there had no idea that anything was going on. You don't need to hide from us because we all have kids and have either been there or will be there someday. Tell Michael if that is the worst thing that ever happens in a public place then he can count himself LUCKY!!

Anonymous said...

Awful night but awesome story!!! I don't think it could have been much worse. That is a great one for the rehearsal dinner some day. Hope you have a better day today!

Elizabeth said...

I heard the condensed version of the story from Summer soon after y'all left the party. I retold it to one of my friends today. (She has a 2-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy, so she appreciated it.)

If you've not already laughed about this at all, you will. Just give it time. :)

Corrie said...

wow. that's a story right there....

Kelly said...

Sorry given her accident prone history this sounds more like something that should've happened to Autumn. I remember everytime the youth did anything (even when I wasn't a youth yet) Autumn ended up injured in some way. Hope you've over come that.